i talk out loud like you're still around.

"I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."

I'm one of those people. I procrastinate and I whine, and I stress out. A lot. I have considerable trouble with the english language - I stutter more than I'd like to and I rarely form coherent sentences when speaking. I can convey thoughts and feelings much more effectively through actions and melodies, rather than through speech. why is the word 'speak' spelled with an a, while the word 'speech' is spelled with two e's? More often than not, I express what swims in my head through music - that which is already composed, and that which also does the backstroke in the ocean-like abyss that is my mind. I question and challenge that which I do not understand. I can be brutally honest and I can hide the truth (not well, but it happens). I leave a part of me everywhere I go, and adopt new parts from those same places. I have a limited vocabulary. This bothers me. I re-think more than I'd like to. I do not lie, to myself or to the people with whom I share this planet. I make pretend like I speak fluently and eloquently. In all reality, I speak like an uneducated child. I didn't used to, but now I'm learning, I'm taking in everything, I'm soaking it up. Mostly because I'm realizing, slowly but surely, how quickly all that I am blessed with can be taken away, like the equations written on a chalkboard.

"...plus, karma is a bitch and i figure her wrath will be greater in the next life if we lie to each other and ourselves." Shelby's just so darn good at knowing what's up.