Star of Wonder

Star of wonder in the Heavens, wonder what you want of me. Should I follow you tonight? I am just a lowly shepherd watching from a distant hill. Why do you appear to me? In the morning they'll come looking for the shepherd on the hill. What would make her leave her flock for surely she must love them still? Star of wonder in the Heavens, are you just a shining star or should I follow you tonight? Star of wonder, shining bright.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and go outside and play with my dog and my brother and enjoy the snow the sky laid on the ground. When I go back to school, I will focus on my work and enjoy the beauty of the weather after. When Spring comes, I will wake up early and take walks while the sun rises in the morning.

hm.

It's almost weird, how good it feels to talk to old friends, especially after an extended period of stressful times.

It's funny.

"It's funny, man, you know, we love music so much and we jam together and that's how we learn a lot of things, and then we all go to music school and we learn more things, but we forget to jam, you know?"

Peaceful Warrior

Music that heals.

oo-wee-oo, I look just like Buddy Holly

I'm trying something new today.

Smile at everybody. The worst they can do is not smile back, but for real, who frowns when they're smiled at?

Surround yourself with things and people that make you happy. If something in your life brings you down, shake it off and out of your life.

Talk to strangers, be friendly with acquaintances. Kindness goes farther than you'd think.

There is nothing in the world that Love can't reverse.

everything will probably not be okay.

everything is illuminated.

All people are beautiful.

There's so much more to us.

If not you, then who?

Go for the soul.

We are dynamic individuals, we are unique.

Don't hide who you are.

Nobody is invisible.

You should be proud of who you are.

Thank you for being authentic.

Things are gonna get hard.

We are people from all walks of life.

You don't have to mask when you come home.

There is nothing that loving and caring for people can't reverse.

You Will Find Love.

Morning is such a beautiful time of day, and place, and feeling, and state of mind, and character. I should not sleep through it so often.

Moonlight will fall,

Winter will end.

Harvest will come,

Your heart will mend.

Goodmorning, goodmorning.

You will find love.

Goodmorning.

There's a Double Rainbow in My Backyard.

Apparently, I have a well of expression that I've been sleeping through in the early mornings. I've discovered a bit of creativity that rises with the sun, and I think I'm going to give my inner nocturnal creature a break and start some new habits, like rising with the sun and this intriguing newfound creativity. This might all just be a delusion I'm telling myself because I want to hear it, though, because I haven't slept yet tonight. Too much thinking, on my part, about the little trivial things, and not so much about the whole, that has kept me up tonight. Wide awake and staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling, I've given each synthetic constellation a name and an origin. Though they are synthetic, they pierce through the night in my room much like the real sky of stars do outside, piercing through the darkness of the night. The sun came up this morning and I watched it turn sections of my room a golden orange color through my window. I saw the shadow of the tree outside move across a wall and the creative juices started flowing, and I felt okay for the first time all night.

Very Much.

i hope you know you're not the only one who feels the way you feel. You are not the only one who struggles. You are not the only one with questions. You are not crazy. You deserve to be heard, to be known. You deserve love.

You deserve love.

You deserve a place that feels like home. You deserve some hands to hold. Hands to pull you past the broken moments, hands to catch you when you fall. Eyes to see you. To say you're there, that you exist, that you change a room, that your presence is significant. Ears to hear you - hear your stories, hear you laugh. Ears to hear your questions and to say they matter.

Your questions matter.

Maybe call a friend today or invite someone to coffee. Tell someone they matter or tell someone you could use a conversation. Write a letter or ask someone how they're doing. Like a song too much. Feel the drums or get lost in the chorus. It means that you're alive.

It's good that you're alive. Who else could play your part?

i hope you get to a place, wake to a day, where that feels true. You deserve to know it's true.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a community of people with questions and struggles. It is for broken people and it is led by broken people. Life is heavy and light. Life is both. Beauty and pain, aches and dreams... We are saying that it's okay to talk about those things. We are saying that we need to. We are choosing to believe that stories deserve better endings. That hope is real, that help is real, that people need other people.

You are not alone today. You matter very much.

Peace to you.

TWLOHA

times is hard, and things are a'changing.

Look. I know you probably don't want anything to do with me for a while, or ever. I know the way I reacted to you was immature and rude. I wish you'd even just acknowledge my apology. You don't have to accept it, I know, I just want you to acknowledge that I know I messed up and I wish I could take it back. I didn't mean to push you, I didn't mean to come on too strong, I didn't mean to scare you. I just got so excited that there was finally somebody else who gets it in my life, and I didn't control that excitement very well. I've said a lot of things I haven't meant, I've messed up a lot, I've been really frustrated trying to say things the right way because I don't want to mess up anymore. I know you need space and I know you have all these things you want to do for yourself, by yourself, on your own, and I don't want to be in your way. And I know you won't let me get in your way. I really, really would like you to be in my life, because you've colored me in so many new shades just within this short time. If that's even remotely related to anything in your head, I'd like to try again. I know a person only gets so many chances.

a more serious song

I am a sunshine, green grass, barefoot kind of girl.

I am an open windows, wind in my soul, music blasting kind of spirit.

I am a water in my thin place, heavy and light, quiet and loud kind of pilgrim.

I am a passion in my blood, energy in my aura, fire in my heart kind of musician.

I am a sunrise over water, dance in the rain, coffee and tea kind of soul.

I am slowly un-convincing myself that love is un-real.

I am remembering that love is what moves me.

Remembering that love wins.

i was on a walk.

I am not good people.

I am not doing great things.

Not for myself, and not for anybody else.

I'm sorry I'm not good people.

I'm working on it.

You can only stand it for so long.

I get that.

I get it.

I hear you laugh, I heard you sing.

"The Second Secret: Don't die with your music still in you. Find your passion. Your passion is what stirs your soul and makes you feel like you're totally in harmony with why you showed up here in the first place." -Dr. Wayne Dyer

enchantment passing through

If you don't like your fate, change it. You are your own master, the are no shackles on you.

we want more

maybe we've been living with our eyes half open. maybe we're bent and broken.

544C

please don't lock my windows closed. i need the sun, i need the air.

bold

if you are afraid of the dark, i will turn the lights on.

love is the movement.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

we will be the hopeful.

"I've decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

i was born in the arms of imaginary friends.

dear hormones, heart and attitude,

just wanted to real quick let you know that i am choosing to finish out this semester the right way, despite all of you.

love,

Angee

this is what it has come to.

sitting in the farthest, deepest corner of the old green library.

writing theory ii homework.

staring out a shaded window - at, rather.

staring at a shaded window.

no drums, no marimba, no piano sounds from any direction.

no people, no friends. no strangers.

neighbors are the newspaper archives and an empty shelf.

this is what it has come to.

move

oh, well. people - they need other people. people - they need what makes them burn. the fire inside is the fire of life and if it isn't burning, what will? the times you're alone are the times that you're scared and the times that you think you can't handle. but people, we need other people. people, we need what lights us on fire. the fire inside is the fire of life and if it isn't burning, what will? will you? the days we let go are the days that we missed and the days we won't ever get back. all people, they need other people. people, they need what ignites their souls. the fire inside is the fire of life and if it isn't burning, what will? the seconds we waste are not seconds at all but lines on your beautiful face.

july

hey. when i'm sitting in my dorm room, i'm so far away from all the memories we ever made together. i'm so far away from the people we both loved. i'm so far away from all the places we've ever been. but when it rains, you're closer. you're here. i can feel you're still around. all the times we ever laughed and sang together are caught up in my locket but the clasp broke, so i haven't worn it in a while. i used to keep you so close to my heart, but the clasp broke. your friends used to come over when it stormed and we'd sit in the grass and wait for the thunder so that we could feel you vibrate through our bodies again. i wanted to sing all the things i ever sang so that you could hear them. can you hear them?

harmonic

we posted all the fortunes we ever got on our windows but when it rained and condensation formed on the window all the little white fortunes turned into rainbows and our fortunes melted away. all the burts bees i've ever owned have been through the wash in the pockets of my worn-in jeans. our walls were too white for our liking so we ripped the pages from coloring books and covered the whiteness with pictures of sea animals and hello kitty. my side of the room was never neat, but it didn't bother caitlin. when the sun finally came out i bought watercolors and we sat in the quad and painted for hours. my mommom sent us valentine's day cards with tiny heart confetti inside that we'll never get unstuck from the carpet. we spent days and nights in practice rooms, not so much practicing but more of enjoying each other and singing together. the sounds you can make from the piano have always amazed me and i think i finally might have the courage to jam with you even though i'm not as good as you. bubble wrap and getting packages in the mail and brightly colored sunglasses were the things that got us through rainy days and mondays. i sang harmony to everything i heard and did laundry too often and didn't get home very much. we ordered rainboots from target but we never wore leggings and tshirts because we laughed at the girls who did. we made friends with the percussion studio and jammed out with them any chance we got because they're the coolest guys ever and we couldn't go without it. i wanted to get a tattoo but i'm definitely not allowed to, besides if i got one all i'd really want is a little tiny peace sign inside a treble clef right behind my ear because that's all we really ever want and that's where we found it - peace in music, music and peace, stairwells and teabags and sunshine and peace.

Shake the Dust.

This is for the fat girls.
This is for the little brothers.
This is for the school-yard wimps, this is for the childhood bullies who tormented them.
This is for the former prom queen, this is for the milk-crate ball players.
This is for the nighttime cereal eaters and for the retired, elderly Wal-Mart store front door greeters. Shake the dust.
This is for the benches and the people sitting upon them,
for the bus drivers driving a million broken hymns,
for the men who have to hold down three jobs simply to hold up their children,
for the nighttime schoolers and the midnight bike riders who are trying to fly. Shake the dust.
This is for the two-year-olds who cannot be understood because they speak half-English and half-god. Shake the dust.
For the girls with the brothers who are going crazy,
for those gym class wall flowers and the twelve-year-olds afraid of taking public showers,
for the kid who's always late to class because he forgets the combination to his lockers,
for the girl who loves somebody else. Shake the dust.
This is for the hard men, the hard men who want to love but know that is won't come.
For the ones who are forgotten, the ones the amendments do not stand up for.
For the ones who are told to speak only when you are spoken to and then are never spoken to. Speak every time you stand so you do not forget yourself.
Do not let a moment go by that doesn't remind you that your heart beats 900 times a day and that there are enough gallons of blood to make you an ocean.
Do not settle for letting these waves settle and the dust to collect in your veins.
This is for the celibate pedophile who keeps on struggling,
for the poetry teachers and for the people who go on vacations alone.
For the sweat that drips off of Mick Jaggers' singing lips and for the shaking skirt on Tina Turner's shaking hips, for the heavens and for the hells through which Tina has lived.
This is for the tired and for the dreamers and for those families who'll never be like the Cleavers with perfectly made dinners and sons like Wally and the Beaver.
This is for the biggots,
this is for the sexists,
this is for the killers.
This is for the big house, pen-sentenced cats becoming redeemers and for the springtime that always shows up after the winters.
This? This is for you.
Make sure that by the time fisherman returns you are gone.
Because just like the days, I burn both ends and every time I write, every time I open my eyes I am cutting out a part of myself to give to you.
So shake the dust and take me with you when you do for none of this has never been for me.
All that pushes and pulls, pushes and pulls for you.
So grab this world by its clothespins and shake it out again and again and jump on top and take it for a spin and when you hop off shake it again for this is yours.
Make my words worth it, make this not just another poem that I write, not just another poem like just another night that sits heavy above us all.
Walk into it, breathe it in, let is crash through the halls of your arms at the millions of years of millions of poets coursing like blood pumping and pushing making you live, shaking the dust.
So when the world knocks at your front door, clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be.

-Anis Mojgani

babe, you're not lost.

rhythm x aged out

memorial tattoo

performing

guitar jams on the quad

wildflowers

abstract fingerpaints

self-discipline

crown aged out

corps and wgi

I have been having a great deal of trouble finding my own passion. I am so inspired by members of corps and wgi, by grad students and undergrad students here who kick their own asses every day, by people who keep themselves in shape, by people who love what they do. Truly love what they do. To the point that they cry when they do it. I am honestly inspired. I get energy from that, from hearing those stories. It makes me want to have that, it makes me think that I might have that inside me. I can see it in so many people, in their eyes and in their auras, the fire that they have burning inside them for the thing that they love. And I'm trying to find my own, because I know I can't feed off of other peoples' forever. I have to have my own. It has to be somewhere. My own self-discipline and determination, my own fire burning inside me. I know I've felt it before. I need to feel it for the things that I have to do every day. I need to bring out my own inspiration. I need to light my own fire. I need to find my own passion, my own passionate energy.

tonight, tonight

ooh, lover boy...

really desperately missing chaz and needing to go home to be with my brother and my dog.

spirits

"Make it a good day. -M"

Not "have a good day," "make it a good day."

I like that better.

For Peace

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others." Audrey Hepburn.